The number one reason that couples give for seeking counseling is communication. One or both partners think think that their main problem is a lack of communication or unhealthy communication. How did communication become so difficult in the relationship? Show me a relationship with a lack of communication and I will show you a relationship with problems. A lack of communication and unhealthy communication are signs of a deeper problem. Strained, harsh or nonexistent communication can further damage a relationship. If communication has become fragile, it is time to inventory the relationship for the following:
- Dishonesty
- Secrets
- Emotional abuse
- Lack of support
- Lack of trust
- Anger
- Judgemental
If faced with any of the above problems, the problems must be resolved before communication can improve. These problems are usually a result of other behaviors such as infidelity, financial stress, aggression, etc. Each person must admit and accept responsibility for their behaviors. The relationship can be restored but it will require patience from both partners. Each person must be willing to forgive so the relationship can move forward. Each person’s focus should be on rebuilding the marriage. Rebuilding will require a labor of love from both partners. Through love and patience, the couple can begin replacing the negative with positive. The negative behaviors must be replaced with:
- Honesty
- Transparency
- Supportive
- Emotional safety
- Trust
- Kindness
- Love
- Tolerance
Communication will be easier, when a couple is able to trust each other. A couple will be able to trust when their relationship has honesty and transparency. There will be patience and kindness in the relationship as the couple display consistency and positive behaviors. The couple will feel more emotional safe in the relationship when they are being supportive and tolerant of each other. Communication will no longer be harsh but it will be coated with love.